On this Self-healing journey, it’s worth remembering that healing isn’t all there is to life. Remember to nurture the seeds that need planting, to create. We can BE, without hindrance from damaging life experiences that seem to remain with us. We are not finished products of trauma, we stand a chance to make our lives beautiful.

Being grounded

What is being grounded?

To be grounded means being well balanced and sensible. Mentally and emotionally stable.

It is being delusional wanting to believe life should only be love and light when darkness is the reason light has a name. Beyond polarity they are one, and whole.

We get to become the light when life is the darkness. Sometimes we are the darkness, and other times we find other terms for it. We can also decide it’s just life, at its best, when not filtering it through our own need and want.

Four simple things to practice, that are grounding and healing to the soul and will cost you absolutely nothing.

– Forgiveness.

One does not wake up and decide to have forgiven when they have walked through so much darkness, caused by others. It is a process. I do not know the formula for forgiveness because I, one day woke up feeling light, and I knew it has made a home in me. Forgiveness is freedom to ourselves. A wave of goodbye to a strain, a tension and a knot in our souls.

We do not have to allow our daily experiences, and the people that come with them be the pressure that sinks us.

– Presence

Being present in the current moment. 

“This is the real secret of life  to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now”. Allan Watts.

Presence may be difficult to practice as mental disorders are something like; our brain is programmed to function in a way that uses certain, and horrible past experiences as reference, even out of context.

Our response to those certain experiences becomes our response to our everyday life, robbing the current moment of its essence.

Being present comes with clarity, and clarity is needed to navigate through this journey with reassurance and peace.

– Acceptance.

Consenting to receive what is given. Willingness to accept and live each day as it comes. Life gives you what it gives you and it’s just that. This is what you’re born into, so “bloom where you are planted”, or perish.

– Letting go of the need for control.

This does not mean we can not be aware of what surrounds us and what we engage in. It does not take our freedom to act on our choices.

When things fail it’s a curve for learning, for us to make better decisions. 

Jason Stephenson says, “thinking strategically makes us feel safe and in control and this often reduces anxiety. It just leads to more anxiety when our carefully laid plans come crumbling down”. 

Surrender to, and trust the love and wisdom of the universe. 

The world does not need to make any sudden adjustment for us to have comfort and peace in our own lives. It has evolved from where it was to here and because of that the future sure is promising. A lot of things can happen in our lives that are pleasant, these things stand a chance to get even better should we avail ourselves to them. They stand the same proportion of getting worse and that’s just balance.

We do not deserve the good or the bad, but to live the experience. To understand and to believe we are trusted with and for it.

How we feel about reality is reflected in how we act, which then affects our reality. What is reality? What is your reality? How have you been affecting your own reality? Is it passively or actively?

The Victim Mindset

The victim mindset is very common when you feel you’ve been victimized a time in your life. One grows accustomed to being subjected to oppression, deceit or to generally be adversely affected by people and overall situations.

As the mark was set in my mind that unpleasant things happened to me in the past, I  became conditioned to expect these same unpleasantries in my everyday life. My own thoughts were reflected back to me.
Was this exactly how things were or was it just how I perceived them to be? I needed conviction that life is just horrible and I received it. From my own self. Again, my own thoughts were reflected back to me.

Our character is a collection of our thoughts.

This mindset too is a wound. It raises very highly one’s level of expectations. From the world and the people around them, leaving them extremely vulnerable to hurt, and pleasure.
“Little things hurt, it doesn’t take much to please me”

When I leave out the childhood trauma and the people that abused their power on me; I realised at a later stage in my healing that it’s possible that on that journey I walked wounded, the things I believed to have hurt me may have contributed very little to my pain at that time.
Wounds connect and these things/people were mostly triggers. Their failing to tiptoe around me as I expected led to memories I’ve supressed to resurface, connected in a way that pain felt like all I knew.

As more light was shred into my life the more I expanded in my understanding. Forgiveness became easy. Forgiving myself, the perpetrators and everyone else who just failed to meet my expectations of how I should be received and treated when I was still wounded.